Kyther: CALL THE DRONES

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You’ve become awfully familiar with the sight of a particular kind of drone - the repair drone. So you dutifully ring up the center whose contact information you’ve already memorized sweeps ago. You’re surprised they don’t recognize your voice at this point.

Yes, you say, you’d like a repair drone over as soon as possible. The clearly bored troll on the line asks what kind of damage it should expect. A broken window, you say. The troll asks if it was a break-in, and if you’d like to report a crime. Nah, you say, it was collateral strifing damage. Okay, the troll says, he’s gonna put you on hold.

For five whole minutes, imperial-produced muzack blares at a ridiculously low bitrate over the line.

Eventually, you get connected to another troll. They didn’t get ANY of the info you had provided to the previous worker, so you end up having the exact same conversation, again. The troll on the line says they gets how it is, but they’re still gonna need your caste name and address. You tell them it’s CHIMED, and that you’re at the 523F76 East Lawncluster in the Greater Maultigore Urban Zone, section Z. They takes exactly one minute and twenty seconds to enter this information, which you hear through silence punctuated by keyboard clacking.

Finally, they say that your request needs to be authorized by a superior due to repeated requests for the exact same repair. The troll says it’s for “quality assurance”, and that they really don’t want to inconvenience you. You fail to tell them that this really IS quite an inconvenience, and then you sit on hold for another six minutes, forced to take in EVEN WORSE MUZACK.

Just as your patience is really wearing thin, a new, noticeably more gruff troll picks up the line. But, as usual, you have to reiterate the entire damn thing to her, INCLUDING your caste and address lookup, which, defying any reasonable explanation, takes her EVEN LONGER to enter. She sighs and says that everything checks out just fine, and the drone will be over in half an hour. You say thanks, hanging up just SLIGHTLY too quickly.

You then take some VERY deep breaths over the course of about nineteen seconds.

Holy fucking shit. That was one of the worst ones so far. You NEED to get your mind off this, and onto something else.

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